I Don’t Mind the Loss of Freedom


I didn’t mind it when they went after the military. Military men are usually jarhead brutes with a penchant for killing.

I didn’t mind it when they went after religious people. I think religion is too pervasive in our society, and I think religion is the opiate of the masses.

I didn’t mind it when they went after guns. There are too many people getting killed by guns.

I didn’t mind it when they went smokers. I could probably cut down a little on smoking.

I didn’t mind it when they went after corporations. I hate those greedy sobs.

I didn’t mind it when they went after rich people. I’m not rich, and it’s about time we stuck it to those people.

When they taxed me more, I figured it was going to a good cause, and I wouldn’t miss it anyway. I didn’t mind that.

When they used Eminent Domain to take the homes of the Eastside residents away, I didn’t mind it. Those people were slobs. You should’ve seen the way they lived.

When they outlawed trans fats, I thought that was a good idea. There’s a ton of fat people around here.

When they cracked down on the police, I thought that was a good idea. The police get a little out of control at times.

When they imposed lower emission standards on companies, I thought that was a good idea. I like breathing clean air.

When they increased CAFE standards on cars, I thought that was a good idea. I like getting extra miles per gallon in my car.

When it took me forty-five minutes to get passed airport security checks, I thought that was a good idea. We need to stop terrorism even if it means I have to use hotel shampoo.

When they spoke about adding a tax to the internet, I thought that was a good idea to help bring down the national debt.

When they outlawed intense interrogations, I felt good about that. We need to let the world know that we’re a law abiding nation.

When they spoke about outlawing companies going to foreign countries for cheaper labor, I cheered. Those greedy fat cats in those companies need to give Americans jobs.

When my bank decided to charge me an extra dollar for what they called, “foreign ATM fees” I just about had it. Can you imagine the audacity of these people? The greedy bastards claimed that it was a “business related” expense that they needed to charge me to remain competitive in the marketplace. I ripped my money right out of there and searched my state to find a bank that wouldn’t charge me the extra dollar. Money is freedom as far as I’m concerned, and I wasn’t about to allow those fat cats to steal my freedom.

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