France was one of the most powerful countries in the world between 1805 and 1812, largely thanks to a military leader who many historians rank among the greatest of all time: Napoleon Bonaparte. Some historians still place him alongside Alexander the Great, Julius Caesar, and Genghis Khan in that regard. In 1806, Napoleon Bonaparte led a mighty French military, back when no one dared laugh at putting those two words in the same sentence. What happened? Some cite war fatigue among the soldiers and citizenry, some suggest coalitions against French rule, economic problems, the Battle at Waterloo, and various other reasons, but no esteemed historian cites The Battle of the Bunnies.
In his on-again, off-again leadership of France from 1799 to 1815 under various titles, Napoleon fought roughly eighty battles, and he won nearly all of them. France encountered most of their defeats in the final years (1812–1815) of Napoleon’s rule when French forces experienced battle fatigue.
Among the greatest conquests of French history, was Napoleon’s defeat of Prussia and Russia between (October 1806 – July 1807), that occurred over the course of roughly nine months. By all historical accounts, Bonaparte crushed Prussia and Russia. He brought them to the negotiating table at what was called the Treaty of Tilsit to discuss the terms of their surrender. Those treaties left Napoleon in control of most of western and central Europe and temporarily turned Russia into an ally.
Napoleon considered the Prussian and Russian victories the greatest of his tenure, and he considered the territory gained by the Treaty of Tilsit such a huge victory for France and his regime that he wanted to celebrate it. He probably said something like, “Victories like these don’t come around but once in a lifetime, and I want a party that commemorates them!” The problem for this military mastermind was hew couldn’t figure out a perfect celebration.
After discussing this with his administration, reports state that Napoleon’s chief of staff, Marshal Louis-Alexandre Berthier, came up with an idea, “How about we put together a huge hunting expedition on my estate?” Napoleon loved the idea. Buoyed by Napoleon’s approval, Berthier invited Napoleon’s most loyal and members of his imperial entourage, plus local beaters.
After securing the R.S.V.P.s, necessary for this gathering, Berthier put together a lavish outdoor banquet for all involved. He wanted everyone to celebrate and have fun, but his primary goal was to impress Napoleon with a gala befitting his victories. We might assume that such a party would involve alcohol, but Napoleon was not a big fan of adult beverages. The lone source of these events, the memoirs from a General named Paul Thiébault’s state that Berthier’s goal was to conduct a huge formal, imperial outing as opposed to a wild, drunken celebration.
To complete this celebration, Berthier ordered his subordinate to find a bunch of rabbits for the hunting expedition that was to follow the outdoor banquet. We don’t know how much time his subordinate had to find and trap these rabbits, but he chose to purchase these rabbits from local farmers. Thus, the rabbits the subordinate purchased rabbit for this celebratory hunt that were largely domesticated “hutch” rabbits that the subordinate found to forego all the time and effort required to trap wild ones. We can also speculate that the subordinate who was put in charge of securing enough rabbits for a celebratory hunting expedition wanted to impress Berthier with the number of rabbits he was able to find in the limited time frame he was given. We also don’t have any firsthand accounts of this from General Thiébault’s memoir or any other sources, but we can speculate that the subordinate worried that these domesticated rabbits might be too tame, and they might not provide much in the way of a sporting hunt. To remedy this, he probably instructed the local farmers to deprive the rabbits of food in the days leading up to the hunting expedition. The subordinate’s hope was that this might lead the rabbits to be extra lively, crazy, and eager.
The problem with that order was the 2,000 (a rough estimate by General Thiébault’s account) domesticated, tame rabbits that arrived on chief of staff, Marshal Louis-Alexandre Berthier’s property arrived incredibly hungry, and they associated humans they met there with food. Much to Berthier and his subordinate’s chagrin, when all of the carriages carrying Napoleon, his best soldiers, and the most loyal members of his administration arrived, the 2,000 rabbits began swarming them. The rabbits were so hungry and pursuing the prospect of food so aggressively that Napoleon and his entourage were overwhelmed by them.
As the rabbits began clamoring all over one another around the soldiers’ legs, and they even began aggressively climbing up on their legs, the first thing that went out the window was the idea of a sporting hunt. The rabbits obviously weren’t running away. They were running to, and onto the men. They were clamoring all over one another to be closer to the nearest human, to be first in line for food.
The whole scene was embarrassing of course, but Berthier had to be mortified when the rabbits did the same to Napoleon. The hunting party and Napoleon began trying to fight the rabbits off with sticks, rifle butts, and riding crops, but they could not deter these rabbits. There were just too many of them, and they were so hungry and aggressive. These mighty soldiers eventually had to do something no Napoleonic force had to at that point in his reign. They had to retreat and basically surrender to an overwhelming force. They ran back to their carriages, but the rabbits continued pursuing them. The rabbits even, according to Thiébault’s memoir, began breaking into groups and flanking the fleeing party. A few even managed to scramble aboard Napoleon’s Imperial Carriage before he could get away.
Anytime I read a crazy story like this, my sense of creativity goes to the beginning, the ending and everything in between to what we’re not told. Who was the first member of the hunting expedition retreat, and did the other members of the party in attendance laugh at him, before they eventually realized that was the only course of action? With the rabbits clamoring all over one another so aggressively, my bet is one of the rabbits’ nails scratched one of the soldiers. “OW!” Martin screamed mistaking that scratch for a bite. “He bit me. One of these blasted things bit me!” Was there an incident of this nature that led the others to say, “One of those things bit Martin. I’ve survived countless battles with humans. There’s no way I’m going down over some disease these things probably carry on them. I’m outta here!” What did they say to another, in their carriages, in retreat? I’m sure Bonaparte ranted and raved about what a disaster this expedition was to Berthier, if Berthier rode away in the carriage with him. If Berthier rode with his subordinate, we can guess that some physical admonishment followed the Q&A regarding the details of what the subordinate did to set this day up. “All right,” Berthier probably said before striking the man, “but did you have to get 2,000 of them?” Those strike me as more typical reactions. What intrigues me more are the conversations that probably occurred on the carriages that carried the soldiers. In the immediate aftermath of the incident, they were embarrassed, and they needed to talk it out to get it out of their minds.
“What was that?” First Officer Dubois asked Officer Petit, as the two of them ride away from the field of bunnies.
“I don’t know,” Petit responded. “There were so many of them. I’ve never seen so many rabbits in one place before. There had to be thousands of them. After Martin got bit, it was a little scary out there.”
“We’re the most powerful military in the world,” Dubois said. “If word gets out about this-”
“The lesser said the better,” Petit interjected before Dubois could complete that sentence.
“But people will talk.”
“Why would they?” Petit asked. “Why would anyone say anything about this to anyone? Even if they’re drunk, trying to be funny, and trying to tell the wildest tale at the bar, why would they admit to any of this?”
“You’re right,” Dubois said.
“You watch, we’ll have some unofficial decree that comes down about how we’re not to say a word about this to anyone.”
“Agree.”
“I’m talking wives, daughters, and drinking buddies,” Petit said. “I’m talking about burying this so deep we won’t even talk about this in our sleep.”
“Agreed.”
We don’t know what happened before, after, or any of the other details that happened between, but one of the greatest military minds of his generation, a man many still rank among the greatest military leaders of all time, and the conqueror of conquerors was forced into an undignified retreat —not by a coalition of kings, but by a few thousand hungry domestic rabbits that mistook him for their feeder. These bunnies didn’t require a grand strategy, a coalition, and they didn’t need Allied and Prussian support. They just needed to be bunnies that don’t act according to plan. This loss in the Battle with the Bunnies was considered so embarrassing that those involved decided the only course of action was to “expect” everyone involved to avoid talking about this day. There is no record of an official decree of silence on this topic, and we know of no unofficial decrees either. This expectation was obviously successful, because no one did talk about this incident, until a General named Paul Thiébault mentioned it in his memoirs that were published after his death in the 1890s, roughly 50 years after it happened.











