Beat The Beatles

February 4, 2022October 3, 2023 Rilaly1 Comment

“The Beatles are overrated,” wrote someone who probably wears black sweaters, prefers goatees, and still considers the ascot a mandatory fashion accessory. “While many find enjoyment in singing along to Hey Jude or I Want To Hold Your Hand, I find the vast majority of [The] Beatles’ lyrics insultingly simple, and [their] individual musical talent is surpassed in almost every regard.” Those who wear normal clothes don’t truly care about such accessories. To us, song is sacred. When we hear The Beatles, we might hear evidence of the critic’s complaints, but we view the songs they created as simplistic brilliance.

It would be a fool’s errand to try to suggest that one artist’s artistic expression is superior to another, but the author draws many comparisons. She focuses most of her critique on the technical proficiency of The Beatles stating that three of the four musicians are inferior to their peers. The author conceded that George Harrison proved a gifted musician, but The Beatles restrained his abilities in most of their songs. This begs the question, does the sacred nature of the song require some level of restraint? We might enjoy hearing gifted virtuosos play their instruments, but how often does technical mastery lend itself to crafting great songs? We can all think of some songs where instruments commanded the music, but even the most gifted musicians learn to restrain their abilities for the sake of the song.

When we attempt to examine our favorite songs dispassionately, we might acknowledge that some of the lyrics might be simple, and that a novice might be able to play them on a piano, but as Bill Murray once said, “It just doesn’t matter”. We enjoy a clever relationship between the lyrics and the music. Our favorite composers often write lyrics for the sole purpose of developing a relationship with the music.

Most people will express awe over an eighteen-minute guitar solo at a concert. My question is do they really appreciate an eighteen-minute solo, or do they want to appreciate it? I might be alone, but I consider solos, in the midst of a rock concert, self-indulgent drivel. “Get back to the songs!” I want to yell. Unless someone wants to play guitar, and they want to learn from the masters, I don’t understand their appreciation. Unless they want to say they love it, so they can say they love it, because that’s just kind of what we do, I guess. Some of them, and I’ve met them, actually appreciate a big long solo so much that they time it. Perhaps they think a big, long solo from a guitar god gives them their money’s worth, or something, but I don’t understand it.

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An argument put forth by Ashawnta Jackson, however, suggests that we don’t really consider bands like the Beatles, The Rolling Stones, and The Beach Boys great. By enjoying their music as much as we do, she writes, we’re just doing what we’re told. We don’t know any better. She appears to believe that the underlying reason 1965-69 bands are still part of the modern canon is a result of a multi-generational mass delusion based on an institutional, repetitive messaging. She writes that others chose this music for us, and we haven’t examined those who decided what music we are to enjoy well enough.

The inference is that hundreds of millions of people throughout the world still love the music of these bands because everyone from the corporate types to the DJ’s constantly play them, and our parents and uncles and aunts have propagated this notion that we should continue enjoying listening to the music they enjoyed. This mass delusion is so entrenched now that listeners from all over the world, and from just about every demographic, now accept the fact that certain music “overrepresented in the 1965-69 era” is now considered so great we want to listen to it often. The cure, Jackson states, can be found “by examining the who chooses and why, the “dominant canon of the dominant” can be opened up as listeners reflect on their exclusions and “find their own ways off the beaten track.”

Rick Moran’s piece counters that young people are falling under this spell too, as “[Media Research Center Sales data] states that “old songs” currently represent an astonishing 70% of the U.S. market.” Listening to music is often a solitary activity. Suggesting that those listed above do not influence our choices is foolish, but to suggest that it constantly influences what we stream in our cars, at our computers, and all the other times when we’re alone appears equally foolish. One might think that young people, who traditionally abhor everything their elders prefer, might be a demographic that Jackson could count on to put an end to these institutional decrees, but the data suggests they went and had their minds melded.

Sparks are Strange

November 24, 2021 RilalyLeave a comment

“When you’re strange. Faces come out in the rain. When you’re strange. No one remembers your name.” –The Doors.

When you’re strange, they will compare you to strange, when you’re strange. Don’t make them look ugly when you feel strange. Don’t make them seem wicked when you feel alone and unwanted. It won’t even things out when you’re feeling down and unloved and strange.

When I first learned of the documentary being made on the Mael brothers in Sparks called Sparks Brothers, I figured the comparisons to Queen would be inevitable and constant, as they have presumably throughout Sparks’ career. Thankfully, I was wrong on the quantity of comparisons in the documentary, but I was right about the quality.

When faced with the inevitable comparison questions, most artists follow the time-tested, thoroughly vetted art of embracing comparisons and distancing themselves from it at the same time. After watching comparisons of the unconventional for decades, we’ve seen professionals approach this in two ways. They either embrace it or distance themselves from it, and we’ve even heard some manage to tight wire both, “Thank you for comparing us to them. They achieved what we can only dream of achieving, but I honestly don’t see the comparison. We’re so different in so many ways.” The worst strategy I’ve seen, and that which Sparks employed, albeit subtly, is to bash the other strange artists. The other ones might lose, but you will not win by doing so.

The Sparks Brothers documentary is a mildly entertaining, overlong discussion of a modern band who started in the 70’s. I’ve now listened to the entire catalog of Sparks, and while I admire the band for their weird, strange, and just plain different efforts, they are not Queen. To someone who appreciates any efforts made at being unconventional and just plain different, in the art-rock milieu, I think they had enough songs to create a quality greatest hits album, but I don’t think their greatest hits would’ve qualified for Queen’s greatest hits volume II.

The Sparks Brothers documentary also tells the tale of a band who refused to play by the rules. Yet, when you’re strange and experimental in nature, you’re going to drop some duds. The problem with that, of course, is that when a listener chooses to click on one of your songs, and it’s one of the duds, that sample unfortunately marks your entire catalog in their mind. In his review of the documentary, comedian and social critic Adam Carolla concluded his review by saying, “No one listens to Sparks.” Some find the experimental nature of Sparks frustrating, because they come so close to making great songs. Some find it weird for the sake of being weird, but others find it inspirational, and that’s the reason some of us listen to Sparks. Sparks have some great singles, but no great albums, and they are not a great band. We do like them for who they are however.

Any band who stretches beyond the borders of weird, strange, and just plain different to structured outlandishness will eventually and inevitably be compared to Queen. Any time a band, or musician, attempts to redefine genres, engage in genre-breaking material, or corrupts and disrupts traditional structures in music, the Queen comparisons are inevitable. Queen might not be the weirdest band of all time, and they might not have been the first outlandish band, but they set a standard by which we compare all unconventional acts.

Comparisons are a way of life in any artistic endeavor. Every artist, and aspiring artist, should prepare for real, perceived, or imagined comparisons. They should prepare for the terms copied, derivative, or an unfair characterization of them as a poor man’s (list artist’s name here). The worst thing an artist can do is subtly diminish and outright bash the other artist. Doing so should be left to Bigfoot enthusiasts, UFO experts, and other conspiracy-theory minded milieus.

If you’re ever so bored, and you can’t find anything else to watch, the shorts on these subjects can be mildly entertaining at times. It’s almost inevitable, in these shows, that an interviewer will ask one of the experts in their field to augment or refute the theories of another expert. This second expert will inevitably attempt to establish his bona fides by diminishing the first expert and any others who claim expertise in their field. Those of us who know nothing of these fields know that we are supposed to pick one of these experts to follow. I am a bad example, because I don’t believe any of them, and I never will until they provide unquestionable and clear video, a dead body, or something else that I would be a stubborn fool not to consider a fact. The only thing I hear from the second expert is some jealousy that the interviewer would dare to lend some credibility to the first. I only hear the second expert attempt to gain some credibility on the back of the first. I also don’t hear anything the second one says after bashing the first. In this universe, where I have no knowledge, I end up dismissing everyone, and no one wins.

The Mael brothers did not take the occasion of the Sparks Brothers documentary to bash Queen, as I wrote. The brothers didn’t say anything about Queen, one way or another, but I have to assume that they had some say on the final cut. If that’s true, they allowed a no-name producer to diminish Queen.

“If I was producing that song,” the producer said in reference to a Sparks’ song, “I’d like put a beat on it or something, and be like oh my God, this is amazing. Everyone’s going to feel so sad about this, and we’re going to sneak it into them, and then Sparks would’ve be like, let Queen do that.” The idea that the Sparks’ Mael brothers didn’t say this might make it okay to some, but they allowed the director to keep it in, thus breaking a cardinal rule of weird art.

Outside of creating the best piece of art they possibly can, the goal of every artist is to make some sort of connection relative to the artist. Queen, David Bowie, and many others proved that this can be accomplished in unconventional ways that align with their interpretation and personality. We can assume that this producer wanted to add a beat to make a better connection to a wider audience. I understand the whole “sell-out” complaint, but some of the best weird bands learned how to walk and chew bubble gum at the same time. I also understand that the artist doesn’t want to compromise on their artistic vision, but to suggest that Queen was more open to compromising themselves than Sparks tells me that they wanted this quote left in to help Sparks explain why Queen proved more popular than them. It doesn’t. It does nothing but slam on Queen, and it accomplishes nothing for Sparks in my humble opinion.

My advice for anyone being compared to a seminal artist who made an impact that is difficult to defeat is to embrace the comparison. As I wrote, thank the interviewer for the comparison and attempt to distance yourself at the same time. If, however, you find the comparisons exhausting, you say something along the lines of, “Any time an artist attempts to do something out of the ordinary they are compared to Queen. If you listen to our music and Queen’s, you won’t find any comparisons, other than we’re both unconventional. Queen did their thing, and we did ours. All the power to them, but I don’t honestly see the comparison.” Doing otherwise makes you come off sounding like an insecure UFO or Bigfoot expert who knows facts are hard to come by in their field, and the only thing left are competing theories. Those experts slam on each other all the time about intangibles such as findings and theories, and they attempt to establish their bona fides by saying none of the other experts know what they’re talking about except them. In my opinion, it’s a no-win situation.

If I never heard of Queen, and I didn’t establish my own connection to them, I might’ve dismissed them as a result of this producer’s shot, but I wouldn’t have tilted that vat of credibility back on Sparks. My question, if I were in the Sparks’ camp editing this film, is what are you hoping to accomplish by leaving this in? I would’ve dismissed them as petty, jealous types who want to taint Queen’s credibility to bolster theirs. I know Sparks music, and I know Queen’s, and I judge them to be separate and distinct entities. If I didn’t, neither parties would receive more acclaim, clicks, or anything else from me as a result of one party bashing the other.

You Know What They Say…

November 13, 2021November 15, 2021 RilalyLeave a comment

What did they say? Should we be analyzing them based on what they just said? Those word choices lead me to believe they might be bizarre. What do we say about them? Did we read too much into it? Every time they learn a new word, they use it as often as they can. What does that say about him? “Who cares?” she says. She accuses us of over-analyzing them and being wrong more often than we’re right in these situations. “Maybe they just like using new words.”

You know what they say, “Where do we go from here now that all of the children are growing up?”

“I don’t think your mother would approve,” Green said.

“I don’t call her mother,” Aqua replied. “I call her mom. No one calls their mom mother anymore.”

“No one?”

“Babies call their mom mommy, kids call her mom, and kids who are trying to be handsome call her mother.”

You know what they say, “Who’s your daddy?”

When we finally locate our child’s missing underwear, we knew it was time to consult his doctor, on his meds, when our dad said:

“That’s such a relief, because I was so worried that our neighbors might find them at their house.”

“Why would his underwear be over there?” we said when his tones suggested we should all consider this a relief.

“Because they might find them there,” he said, as if we weren’t getting it. “They might steal them and say they found them at their house.”

“Why would they do that?” we asked.

“I watch that Court TV a lot, and these people dream up stories like these all the time,” he said. “Who’s to say they don’t dream up some tale about their daughter getting pregnant, and who’s the father? Why, it’s your kid! It’s what they call a paternity suit.”

“I’m going to guess that the judge might throw this one out dad,” we said, “because they’re four-year-olds.”

“Listen Mr. Smarty Pants,” he said in such a forceful manner that we took a step back. “You don’t know everything. You don’t know anything. They bring up frivolous cases like these all the time. You think they all get thrown out? And what happens before that case gets thrown out? Your child’s reputation gets dragged through the mud by all of these scandalous newspapers running stories on him.”

You know what they say, “Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage.”

“You’ll know you’ve been married a long time when you can identify the smell your partner’s gas in a crowd.”

You know what they say, “All right, all right, I hope you sons a bitches see the light.”

“Sometimes I think you enjoy making me suffer in life.”

You know what they say, “Who will buy these wonderful roses?”

“Why do you care if people are attractive?” Aqua asks. “Why does anyone care how attractive people are? On my list of priorities, how attractive a person is, is actually quite low.”

“I believe you, but attractive people make the world go round. We can be funny, even if we’re not, when we’re attractive. We can be smart, savvy, and strong if we’re more attractive. It’s not true. It’s a relative perception, and when I say it, I’m joking, but it does make the world go round.”

“Then don’t say it.”

You know what they say, “The world is, the world is love and life froggy.”

People mess up 180 degrees and 360 degrees all the time. “Your thoughts on this matter and mine are 360 degrees different.” We know what they mean. They mean 180 degrees, but what if we could change 360 degrees? It’s a dumb line that requires some pseudointellectual psychobabble, but it seems to me that there’s some surprisingly hilarious or existentially challenging lines in there somewhere that needs to be explored for idiotic impact.

You know what they say, “You’re not paranoid if they’re really after you.”

It is possible to lose your sanity in an instant, I know, but with as much space as authors devote to this phenomenon, loyal readers might think it’s common. Stephen King wrote about this phenomenon so often that I don’t think he realized how often he self-plagiarized. His scenes involved an incident so foreign to his character’s experience, and they proved so shocking and so scary that their hair went completely white in an instant. He wrote about such incidents so often that I think he would say it’s not only possible, it’s happened. “How is it possible?” is the only question that springs to mind. I’ll admit I don’t understand the finer details of hair growth, but I don’t understand how anything, no matter how scary or shocking, can cause the nutrient depletion necessary for grey and white hair from root to tip. The idea of losing sanity in an instant is more plausible but almost as difficult to comprehend. Most crazy people didn’t have a flashpoint. Crazy, more often than not, has an anthropological source that starts with genetics and builds over time after being raised with unusual people of unusual ideas.

“You mean to tell me that it’s possible that we could see something so shocking that it could completely alter my brain chemistry. The prospect of that is so scary that it might alter my brain chemistry.”

You know what they say, “If I wanted you dead McGurty, you’d be dead already!”

I don’t know if I’ve aged out of certain narratives, or if I’ve seen the same ones so often that I just don’t believe them anymore. Modern movies tipped my suspension of disbelief for I now finally see them trying to convince me that our action hero is a no-nonsense, gun-toting belligerent who takes no guff. They’ve ruined most of favorite movies of all time in the process, for I now see what I fell for for so many years. When I hear character-building lines that instruct the audience to recognize that our action hero is a no-nonsense, gun-toting belligerent who takes no guff, I remember all the action heroes I loved who were no-nonsense, gun-toting belligerents who took no guff. I immediately think such lines are lazy, and I eventually realize I’m not wrong, because I see the derivative nature of the line. Thanks to modern movies and all of the characterizations I no longer believe, I now see the old ones for what they are. I now see how the narratives of the movies I loved were carefully constructed by side characters the screenwriter used to build the main character, so the director didn’t have to use costly action scenes to prove to us what a badass he was. I’ve also learned a great deal from the show-don’t-tell school of writing that says if you’re going to have a badass, have them shoot an otherwise insignifigant side character. Shoot the one eating a sandwich over by that lamp. Shoot don’t tell. Shoot him for no reason other than you just didn’t like the way he looked at you. I’m not buying the “If I wanted you dead McGurty, you’d be dead already!” line anymore. It’s been used too many times since The Godfather and the James Bond movies for me to believe it now. If this character would murder another person without knowing all the details, they’re obviously not much of an intellectual, so her adversary should just try to trick her with some intellectual gamesmanship. Also, if she shoots first and asks questions later, shouldn’t she be locked up as a psychopathic maniac? “Shhh, watch the movie!”