Scorpio Man


The next time I’m in an office elevator with some nosy, busybody that badgers me for my date of birth, I’m just going to lie.  Those of us that had the Sun positioned in Scorpio at the moment of our birth have been worn down by your non-verbal shrieks, the attempts you people make to hide your children, and the not-so-subtle attempts you make to escape.  We are people too, with all of the same hopes and dreams as the rest of you.  We want to have friends, and people that love us for who we are, but those of you in the twelve other sectors of the ecliptic have created a climate where the only way Scorpio males can feel comfortable in our celestial phenomena is to just lie about our Sun’s positioning at the time of our birth.

“I mean you no harm,” I want to say, as if that would do anyone any good at this point in human history.  “I do not want to hurt you,” I do say, at times, when I see how badly they are shaken by my revelation.

f74ac12de26c0241d623f5dcea85df66-d42a2w6Rather than go through that all that, yet again, I’ve decided that I’m just going to start telling anyone that asks that my date of birth happens to fall under a Virgo Sun, and that my Zen cannot be disturbed even with an Aquarian Mars coming down on me hardcore.  If they continue to question me, stating that they can smell the darkness on me, I’m just going to say I’m a Pisces, because they can be whatever the hell they want to be.

I’m just so tired of the prejudicial reactions I receive after telling people that I happen to be a man, born of Pluto, the god of death and mystery and rebirth that lying about the essence of my being, and all that I stand for, is now preferable.

Is this really what you all want?  It appears as though you do.  I’ve thought about fighting it.  I’ve thought about telling you about all of the peace-loving Scorpio brethren that litter history, but at this point it has to be deemed an unwinnable war.

Some of you, and you know who you are, have decided that it’s acceptable, in this age of supposed enlightenment and acceptance, to call Scorpio Men a dark force!?  I’m sorry, but that’s a pejorative term that my people have dealt with since the Hellenistic culture exerted its influence on Babylonian astrology, and just because a few bad eggs have gone rotten since, does not mean that the whole basket should be thrown out.  In this era of enlightenment, one would think that we would all make a more concerted effort to see past whatever constellation the Sun happened to be in at the time of a person’s birth.

Even those of us that have undergone extensive, and expensive(!), training to achieve the evolved state of a Scorpio Man, still get that look from thoughtless troglodytes that happen to have crawled out of the womb during another, superior positioning of the Sun that suggest that Scorpio Men “Can be total trips sometimes.”  Then to have that air of superiority that comes from some (I’m looking at you Cancer Sun women!) that know that we will either get murdered (statistical samples show that most Scorpio males may get murdered in their bed) or murder (statistical samples state that Scorpio males “Can be most high rated criminals” (sic).  And just because we tend to be serial killers that “Thrive on power and control because they (Scorpios) are so insecure, and if they loose (sic) that power or control they go crazy” does not mean that it’s going to happen in the immediate aftermath of the revelation of our birth date, on that particular elevator ride we share with you.  We don’t know when it’s going to happen, if you want to know the truth, and some of us have been able to control our Scorpio man impulses thanks to extensive and expensive “Scorpio Man” Evolvement courses.

It’s obvious that an unfortunate majority of people don’t care about any of that though.  They’re not even curious enough to ask. They can say they are, but we all know what they say about us when we’re not around.  We know that the consensus is that we’re “Sadistic in our ability to bring out the worst in others.”  We realize that no matter how hard we try to prove that we might, might be exceptions to these rules, people are going to insist that: “There may be exceptions to this (Scorpio man) phenomenon. Would not want to rule out that possibility, however, they are rare.”

It’s this kind of talk that has led even us tweeners (i.e., those so close to other signs that they may share astrological characteristics with another sign) that have taken classes to diminish the power of our dark half, to decide that we’re just going to lie about the date of our birth from this point forward.  We didn’t want it to come to this, and our intention is not to deceive you, as most of us are quite proud of the position of the Sun in the constellation at the time of our birth, but the climate that has been created, of prejudicial reactions, is now so toxic that it has become almost impossible for some of us to live normal lives, and we’ve reached a point where it’s just easier for us to conceal that aspect of our identity that was, at one time, such a proud heritage for some of us.

{Update: I have made some strides toward greater spiritual fulfillment, as documented in my second testimonial.}

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